The art of kissing is is a subject that I have thought a lot about over the last 15 or 20 years. I’m wondering where the skill or the patience for it went? I can remember being a young woman even as an older teen where kissing was sometimes the main event for the night. In recent times even among people who are my age, kissing is barely a thing anymore, and dammit, I miss it!
Once upon a time you and your date (significant other) would go out, probably hold hands which in an of itself can be erotic with the slide of the fingers, caressing of each other’s hands (but that’s a story for another day). So, you’re out with your date or at home on the couch watching a movie and there is a caress on the cheek, lips touch, nibbling at the corners of the mouth. Then you move to a lick across the bottom lip, nibbling and sucking on the upper lip. Fingers running through each other’s hair or hands framing a face. All this happens before you would have involved the intimacy of any touching of your tongues.
These days kissing is barely a thought let alone an entire action. It is either a perfunctory peck on the lips then (usually he) wants to move right into the main event or no lead up and straight open mouthed tongue while he tries to devour her face. (Totally not sexy or even a turn on)
I remember a time in my life, I was 17 and I had a boyfriend “for lack of a better word” who wasn’t quite a boy at almost 30 (who by the way my parents adored). No judging here either on my part or his, I had so much life experience at 17 that I was closer to 35 or 40 at that point. That man could kiss, sometimes for hours. It was an event and I felt cherished, that is probably the last time I can actually remember kissing being the way it should be (at least to me). Sad, I know.
So what is it today, that we are rushing to the finish line? Is life too hurried? Are we disconnected from each other?
Kissing, foreplay and even sexual intimacy is much like a sports game, whether it be football, lacrosse, american football, baseball or hockey; you don’t start the game and expect all the sudden to score the final goal, touchdown, or point to end the game. You play it through from warm-up, through each inning, period or quarter, before you try to end the game.
Ladies and gentlemen, let’s bring kissing back as the main event or at least one of the main courses during the meal.